SHOW TIME
In case it's escaped anyone's notice of late, the weather has been pretty much abysmal. Even the ducks at Consue Springs aren't looking terribly enthusiastic. So, given that we've got a few weeks still until we're really in the official throes of spring, I figure it's as good a time as any to offer my latest picks for movies. And, incidentally, for those of you out there who read nothing but my column, Shep offered up his latest list of favorite sports-related movies. And yes, they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but kids, you've gotta know by now I'm not here to flatter Shep.

No, friends, Nantucketers, countrymen, I come not to flatter Shep, but rather to point out his shortcomings. You see, I've done myself a little analysis on both of Shep's lists of "best sports movies ever," and I've got a few issues with them. But, as they say, it's always best to start with a positive, let's start with a positive.

The fact that no Kevin Costner movie has appeared on either of Shep's lists is a definite point in his favor. However, he loses that point for pointing out that he's taking credit for the fact that no Kevin Costner movies have appeared on either of his lists, so we're back to even.

For Andrew, every take seems fishy.

The fact that "Rudy" didn't appear on either of Shep's lists is yet another point in his favor. Seriously. If I have to endure yet another rerun of this movie, I can't be responsible for my actions. I realize it's a great feel-good story about the classic underdog in the classic setting. But I just can't take it anymore. Of course, after last year's showing, the Irish might be needing a little Rudy magic these days, but I digress. So one point for Shep, and advance apologies to the Hubbard clan, spread out as they may be.

Another movie that Shep left off, which was yet another credit to his favor, is "Wind." I actually sat through this movie once long ago on latenight cable. I got sucked in by the promise of a movie about America's Cup sailing. What I got was Jennifer Grey in an utterly forgettable performance. Somebody should have told the casting director that nobody puts Baby in a boat. Two points for Shep.

But now that we've done away with the niceties, let's focus on the nitty gritty here. I've scoured Shep's lists - both of them, many times apiece - and, search as I might, there's one genre that's missing. Yep. There's no movie about fishing.

Lights! Camera! Segue!

Friends and neighbors, it's an often overlooked genre in the movie-making world, but there are a host of cinematic classics that take fishing as their subject matter. And, given that it's what I do, Uncle Andrew is here to tell you about his top five. And yeah, I know, Shep did thirteen. Bully for Shep. Shep gets more column space than yours truly, but I'm not bitter. And need I remind you that Shep also included "Best in Show" as a movie related to sports? After reconsideration, the judges have taken away one of Shep's points.

So let's start at the bottom and work our way up,

shall we? Coming in at

number five is "Finding Nemo." And yes, while technically not a movie about fishing per se, it's close enough. It's about fish, it's got plenty of entertainment value and, when all is said and done, Nemo's father is out trying to locate Nemo who has been caught by a collector, so to speak, so it's about fishing in a round-about sort of way. And besides…Shep counted "Best in Show" as a sports movie.

Moving on to number four, we've got "A River Runs Through It." I realize it's a good movie. It's got a great cast, no pun intended. The cinematography is gorgeous and it's hard to argue with a movie that uses fly-fishing as a central metaphor. But it's just a little too feel-good for me. And since this is my column, I get to call the shots. So number four it is. Get over it.

Coming in at number three, we've got "Orca," the 1977 film that has been referred to as "a blatant rip-off of Peter Benchley's 'Jaws.' " I'm not here to argue that point, as it's tough to top the original, especially when you're using a rogue killer whale as the villain. But what the film lacks in things like plot or decent special effects or actual quality as a movie, it more than makes up for by including a twenty-one year old actress by the name of Bo Derek. 'Nuf said.

Sliding in at second is, in fact, the original horror film of the deep, the one that made us all scared to go back in the water, "Jaws." Mind you, this is not including any of the sequels. The second "Jaws" got a little ridiculous, the third was a lot ridiculous and the fourth was asinine. This is only the first one. Much like the Rocky series faltered the longer it was allowed to remain on life support, once you got past the first in this series, you've seen the best.

Which brings us to the best fishing movie of all time. And, when you really sit and think about it, is there any question? "The Old Man and the Sea" is, hands-down, the best one out there. And really and truly, it's not entirely a fair contest, as this one was adapted from one of the greatest American authors of all time. And a little trivia fact for you, kids: If you watch the movie closely, during the scene where Santiago is fighting the marlin, you can see a fishing line coming from the top of the screen going out to the fish. That line is attached to Ernest Hemingway himself, as they filmed the fight scene from Papa's boat in Cuba, then spliced it into the film.

So there you go. Andrew's list of the best fishing movies of all time. And incidentally, Shep, I've got a video that, while a limited distribution, is, without question, the single greatest sports video I've ever seen. It's the 2006 Rose Bowl, which should be on ANY sports fan's must-see list.

Tight lines. I