ATRAVELIN' WE'LL GO . .
Winter vacation week. I still am a little hazy on why we have a break in February. I've been told that it began as a way to conserve money by not having to heat the school. That may have been the case when the schools were heated by a coal-fired stove and the outhouse was a hike behind the building, but that doesn't hold water anymore. The school is heated even when the kids aren't there! Would we rather the pipes freeze and burst? I've also been told that it is so the kids can go skiing with their families. I'm not a skier. Maybe this is a valid reason. I myself see no reason to ride a lift that appears about as safe as a rickety 50s-era carnival ride up to the top of a hill and then plunge down out of control just to fall in the wet cold snow. I can fall down in the snow on my own while walking on the sidewalk!

It doesn't matter whether you agree or disagree with winter break - it's here. Like most people we are planning on hightailing out of Dodge, riding the great big bird in the sky to warmer climes. Anyone who has ever flown, whether with your own kids or beside the harried woman with hers, knows that flying with toddlers on board can be a trial. Just like most civil suits, there is no winner or loser. Everyone on board feels a little pain.

As a parent, it is our job to keep our toddler relatively happy and quiet. Put that on your list of things you'd like to do before you die, right after solving world hunger and bringing about world peace. About halfway through the flight you'll be updating your resume to apply to the Peace Corps because world hunger and world peace will look a lot more tangible than keeping your child happy!

First and foremost, get your toddler their own seat. Yes, it is expensive. But sitting for three hours with an 18-month toddler on your lap is costly in ways you can't even imagine. Weigh the cost of the ticket versus the cost of therapy and medication and suddenly that seat seems relatively cheap.

Bring lots of activities. Purchase some new books and keep them hidden until the flight. "We All Go Traveling By" written by Sheena Roberts and illustrated by Siobhan Bell, is a wonderful interactive book about traveling and comes complete with a cd. The illustrations look like hand-stitched felt and the accompanying cd is a musical rendition that will keep them busy when their attention starts waning. One book, however, does not a quiet plane ride make.

Sticker books are another time consumer. DK Publishers has a line of sticker books with subjects that are sure to please any toddler. From fire engines to ballet, presidents to bugs and slugs, everyone can find something. Make up stories about the stickers to add to the entertainment value.

Right now you are thinking, "Excellent. That should take care of keeping my beautiful bubbly toddler quiet." Oh, naive, naive, naive. We're only about 45 minutes into the flight at this point.

The key to toddler happiness is to stay one step ahead of them. When you see their attention begin to wander, take another trick out of your bag. If you are flying, books about planes are great. "Planes" by Byron Barton is a board book that begins with the airplane flying in the sky, then shows the people getting on the plane, then landing at their destination. This is also a good book if you have a child that is apprehensive about flying. My experience, however, is that most kids aren't the ones scared of flying. If Santa can fly, why shouldn't they be able to? It's us adults that realize there is something unnatural about a two ton piece of metal staying up in the sky.

Next in line - drawing. Washable markers and crayons are the way to go, together with blank paper. You can draw a map for your kid's cars to drive along, track for his trains, or a house for her dolls to live in. Drawing should come out about halfway into the trip. Too soon and they will bore with it too early in the trip. Too late and you will be struggling to get everything put back together in order to get off the plane!

Don't be afraid to sing songs with your toddler. "If You're Happy and You Know It" is an easy one, and make up extra verses like my husband recently did:

"If you're happy and you know it, pull your hair.

Ow! Ow!

If you're happy and you know it, pull your hair.

Ow! Ow!

If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it pull your hair.

Ow! Ow!"

Of course, your child doesn't have to do bodily harm to himself, but if you are about to pull your own hair out at this point, it's a way to kill two birds with one stone.

Last but not least, stock up on Hershey Kisses. Yes, I realize the danger of giving caffeine and sugar to a caged toddler. However, when you see the mouth open to scream, better to pull a Kiss out of your pocket and watch the scream become a smile. Also, Hershey Kisses are hard to get the wrapper off. No child will complain about the struggle, but it will eat up some time.

As a last resort, the Hershey Kisses can be passed to the travelers in the rows around you as a little thank you for being good sports. Chocolate has a way with everyone, not just toddlers.

Happy traveling! I