LOVE IS IN THE . . .
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day: the day of lovers, chocolate bon-bons, fresh cut red roses and pink candlelit dinners. Oh, right - that was pre-children! Nowadays pink is the color of the whites when I accidentally put a red sock in, red is the color of the cranberry juice spilled on the carpet, and chocolate bon-bons - well, some things don't change.

Parental responsibility takes Valentine's Day to a new level. As a newlywed, love is that doe-eyed, butterfly stomach feeling that makes you do crazy things like pick up and move across the country to be with that special someone. When your first child arrives on the scene, however, you are hit full force in the face with an emotion so strong that it invades every cell of your being. It makes you do even crazier things, like forego careers to make sure your child grows up in a safe environment, put aside that desire you've always had to skydive because you wouldn't want to leave your child motherless and buy three different styles of jeans for your child when you really wanted to spend the money on that new silk Ann Taylor shirt. The dictionary definition of this is selflessness, but we parents all call it love.

It's always good to take Valentine's Day to reconnect with your partner, but that leaves your kids out of the mix. Children learn what they see, and unless you're looking to raise the ire of any future daughter-in-law, now is the time to teach by example. Tell your pre-teens that love doesn't have to involve smooching and hugs, so they don't have to worry about cooties. You can also tell your teens that, but you will be warning them instead of comforting them.

Instead of going out with your spouse to a romantic, high-priced dinner, have the family make a fun dinner together. Valentine's Day morning tell everyone to think of something special about each member of the family, something they appreciate or like about them. Some people will be harder than others, so that's why you have to give them the whole day!

Before dinner have everyone write down their special thing about each person on a slip of paper. Label an envelope for each family member, and put the slips of paper in the respective envelopes.

Now comes time for dinner. You can make heart-shaped pizzas by buying the roll-out pizza dough in the dairy case at the supermarket. No sense going crazy with the whole "homemade pizza dough" thing tonight. This is as much your night as everyone else's! When using the pre-made dough, you can cut away the excess part or shape it into a heart after rolling it out onto the pizza pan. Mozzarella cheese is a good white and red bell peppers make a good red! Pepperonis are also sort of red, but as a vegetarian that's not an option for me. Let everyone get into the act by making their own personalized favorite pizza.

Dessert is easy. Sugar cookies cut out with a heart-shaped cookie cutter. While the pizzas are cooking, roll out the dough on a cutting board on the kitchen table. Let everyone take turns cutting out their hearts and decorating them. Toddlers love this! Each family member can make a special cookie for each person.

When you take the pizzas out, put the cookies in. Set the timer! You don't want to burn up all the cookies. Valentine's Day is not about black hearts, at least not in this scenario. That's for the late teen, early 20s part of life.

Sit down to your Valentine's Day pizza. Take turns trying each other's pizzas and sharing. Once the cookies are done, take them out and sit them in the middle of the table. Decorate them with sprinkles and frosting. Don't worry about the mess.

Now comes the true Valentine's Day present. Let everyone begin to open their envelopes, and take turns reading the slips of paper.

Valentine's Day is about love, and love can be shown in any number of ways. Sometimes the ones we love the most are the ones we don't tell. Use this Valentine's Day to remind each family member how much they mean to you, to each other and to the family unit as a whole. You can even throw in a few hugs and smooches if

you're child will let you! I