YACK on: Endorsement
Grant Sanders
I'll come right out and say it so you don't have to read all the way to the end of this week's column to find out who I'm endorsing for President in 2008. I've got it narrowed down to a few choices. So far, I like Martin Sheen in The West Wing, Harrison Ford in Air Force One, Glenn Close, also in Air Force One (she took control of the presidency

when Harrison Ford was being held captive on his big old plane), and the actor who played President David Palmer, Dennis Haysbert, on the hit TV show, 24. I think you'll agree, it's a tough decision to make. Although Dennis Haysbert is, admittedly,

a long shot.

Now I know there are others out there who will say that Michael Douglas was an excellent president in "The American President." But that turned out to be a chick flick. And while I enjoyed it somewhat, there was no gunplay or explosions and no one went under cover. And let's face it folks, this is a dangerous world we live in. We need a president who can make tough choices under pressure. And whether or not one should invite Annette Bening for a sleep over in the Lincoln Bedroom is not one of those choices. (I mean, let's face it, she's very attractive. No brainer, Mr. President.)

We've been talking a lot about the Presidential Race these last few weeks on YACKon.com and it looks like it's a three-way race right now with Senators Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain vying for the Oval Office. Of course when Martin Sheen, Harrison Ford, Glenn Close and Dennis Haysbert get into the race, well, the field will be wide open. And frankly, I don't think Clinton, Obama or McCain have a chance against those other four.

I like Senator Clinton. She's tough and she's smart, so I have to give her very high marks. But I have to believe that if she went head to head with Glenn Close, she would lose big time. Of course the Clinton camp could look into Glenn Close's past and find out that she was once a psycho stalker chick who cooked Michael Douglas' rabbit (and other things) in Fatal Attraction, and the press would have a field day. That's how politics is played these days, I guess. Not like the old days when a fictional president's past was left in the past. No one ever brought up Cliff Robinson's relationship with the Mafia or Hollywood starlets when he played JFK back in the 60s. Of course, that was in the movie, PT 109, which predated the above relationships, but you get what I mean.

I also like John McCain. He seems to be a moderate on some issues I care about. Plus he's a war hero, having spent years as a captive of the Vietcong. But I have to believe that if Harrison Ford had been captured by the Vietcong, he would likely have pulled a miniature radio out of his shoe and then would have ordered a full military strike on his VC captors, and then only after breaking the prison guards' necks with a nifty Jujitsu move. Yeah, McCain is tough. But Harrison Ford is much tougher. I mean, have you ever seen McCain slide along a 300-foot metal cable from a damaged, (and heavily customized) Boeing 747 into a C-130 moving at 500 MPH at an altitude of 3,300 feet and falling? No way, man. McCain would be too scared. War hero or not.

Of the three candidates who are actually running at the moment, I like Barack Obama the best. It took me a while to get over the funny name. But after that, I realized he and I had a lot in common. We are both fathers of two children we love very much. We both have strong ideas about ways in which the country can regain its national pride and status in the world (my idea involves inviting other nations to a series of cheese-eating contests), and we are both the product of a mixed marriage. My mother was from Wisconsin and my father from Iowa, which took my mother's parents a long time to get over. As you can imagine.

I recently finished Barack Obama's book, The Audacity of Hope. And while I found it somewhat lacking in audacity, there was plenty of hope in it, to be sure. So if none of the four people I mentioned above announce their candidacy, I will likely vote for him. But let's face it, a relative unknown like Obama does not stand a chance against a relative unknown like Dennis Haysbert. Haysbert, first of all, is very tall, muscular and broad shouldered. Obama is kind of skinny. Haysbert is very handsome. Obama is handsome, too (his wife is very pretty as well) but he has that ear thing going on and his hair is way too short. Plus Haysbert has a great back story. He was a poor underprivileged kid in the 70s when he did a guest spot on the TV show, The White Shadow, Starring Ken Howard. And, as we all know, the voters love that "humble beginnings" stuff.

So, to recap: Close cancels out Clinton. Ford trumps McCain and Haysbert edges out Obama. And who does that leave? Martin Sheen. I predict Sheen, who despite having a fictional case of MS and having committed unspeakable atrocities in the Vietnam War in Apocalypse Now, will squeak by and win the seat. And that's good because he already has a whip smart staff that America loves. Especially his spunky Deputy Press Secretary Josh Lyman, played by Bradley Whitford, and his sassy assistant Donna played by Janel Maloney. I can't wait. It's going to be a very entertaining four years.

YACK on. I

Grant Sanders is the Host of YACK, The Nantucket Online Community at yackon.com and if he ran for president, his running mate would likely be Morgan Freeman in case a giant meteor threatens the earth. His views are his own and do not necessarily reflect the editorial stance of The Nantucket Independent. Or his wife. To whom Annette Bening does not hold a candle.