LETTERS
SEND YOUR VIEWS AND LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: DON@NANTUCKETINDEPENDENT.COM

COPING WITH TRAGEDY

The following excerpt is from Dr. Robert Evans' book "Family Matters."

The sudden, tragic death of a student can have strong effects throughout a school community. Everyone feels shock and disbelief, as well as concern for the student's family and friends. Faculty and parents alike want to be helpful to students but often have trouble themselves understanding how such a thing could happen. They may find themselves reminded of major losses in their own lives or suddenly concerned about what might happen to other students. They can worry about saying too much or too little, about not having enough information, about saying the wrong thing. Though there is no perfect solution, there are five guidelines that can often make a positive difference in talking with students.

1. It is helpful not to over-assume what the tragedy means to them. They react differently depending on their closeness to the situation, their own personalities, and so on. Some may be deeply moved, others less so. Some may have many questions, others fewer. Not all will be intensely affected. Showing little reaction does not automatically mean a student is hiding or denying his or her feelings. At the same time, some students who have little immediate reaction may become upset later on, even in a way that doesn't make sense to them. There is no predictable timetable.

2. Adolescents are remarkably resilient. They may become quite upset, but given a chance to express what they feel, they usually resume their normal lives - and often do so more rapidly than older adults. Most students do not benefit from extensive, probing questioning about their reactions. They do profit from simple, direct information and from faculty and staff being available to respond to their questions and to listen when they themselves want to talk.

3. If you receive difficult questions it can be useful to understand these before answering them. Often a question is spurred by a feeling. Rather than plunging into an immediate answer, it can be helpful to learn what motivates the question by asking, "What made you think of that?" or "Can you tell me what you were thinking about?" Once you know the source of the question, it is easier to answer effectively.

4. There may be questions you cannot answer, which can make anyone feel inadequate. But all of us are typically more comforted by straight talk than by false assurances. Rather than to invent a response, it can be much more helpful to say, "I don't know," and to ask, "What have you heard?" or, "Did you have an idea about that?"

5. Above all, coping with a tragic death is not primarily a matter of technique, not something best handled by a particular set of tactics that deviate sharply from one's familiar patterns of communication. The regular routines of school and of family life, for example, are, all by themselves, a source of comforting continuity and assurance. Faculty and parents will rarely go wrong by relying on what is most basic between them and students - caring and connection. At these times, your presence - your simply being with students, their knowing that you are available - can be very reassuring.

- Courtesy Dave Provost, Head of Nantucket New School

OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO LISTEN

To the editor: I may have misunderstood a comment that it was the school's responsibility in the sad incident of last week. That is so wrong. It would be the school's responsibility if the students were doing inferior schoolwork and not learning up to "standards." It would be the school's responsibility if one or more of the teachers were using questionable teaching standards. Many have said there is a lack of activities for the young people on this island. I disagree.

There are numerous opportunities for the youth on this island to grow, learn and enjoy themselves in the process. There are many dedicated adults already looking after our young people in these various activities. I, myself, do not have any children. However, I have attended many of these activities to watch these young people enjoying themselves, having fun and learning. Sadly, in many instances I would be the only non-parent there. Yes, parents were there in most instances because they would have to drive their child to the event, yet in many cases they would drop them off and return for pick up. Do not get me wrong; there are some extremely dedicated parents who I would see at every event, faithfully and also paying attention to what the activity was and how their child was performing.

We are all extremely busy in today's life. Some of us balance more than one job to make ends meet on this island. Some have more than one child and cannot always be in more than one place at a time. Then there are the few whom I swear are cloned because again I see them at all of the activities!

So what is my point? Have you ever had the feeling as an adult that you are being pulled in 19 different directions and an unbearable sensation begins to overwhelm you? I am sure you have. We all have. Now, consider a young person 13, 14, 15, 16, etc. … years old. Is maybe the "activities" thing too much of a burden for some to keep up with, and these activities become more of a burden than a joy?

Imagine a 16-year-old with school, sports of many varieties such as football, hockey, baseball, soccer, field hockey, lacrosse, basketball and swimming.

I am sure I have probably forgotten some - both school-related and privately organized - anticipating a driver's license and learning to drive, friends, homework, chorus, band, plays, Junior Miss, dances, proms, field trips, meetings and family life. Some students even hold down a part-time job. That is a lot for a young person. Sometimes expectations are overwhelming.

Sometimes the "simple life" is not so bad. Who knows the answers?

The entire community has a great responsibility to our children. It is up to all of us to take an active interest in our youth. They are the future presidents of our country, the future doctors who may find the cure for cancer, the future teachers who will pass on what they have learned. Support the young people. Spend a couple of hours a week attending their activities - not as a parent, but as a community member interested in what they are doing. Believe me, the kids will appreciate it. Watch them grow. Listen to them.

God bless our young people. Sincerely,

- Joanne Pimentel-Rocha

NEITHER ENDORSED NOR, MORE IMPORTANTLY, DENIED

To the editor:

In an article in last week's Nantucket Independent Peter Brace implies that the NP&EDC and the town are not in favor of the Cape Wind project. The voters spoke out against it in April of 2006, but the NP&EDC and the Board of Selectmen have not yet endorsed or denied the project.

After a presentation last winter by Jim Coyne, the town's consultant on Cape Wind, before a joint meeting of the NP& EDC and the Board of Selectmen, which I attended, it was agreed to seek more information as the permitting process moves into its last year - 2008. The NP&EDC and the Board of Selectmen will likely issue their final opinions by the end of the year.

The site south of Tuckernuck Island has serious problems for a wind farm, including large waves, deep water, and lack of proximity to the mainland power grid. Deep-water technology is still 15 to 20 years away and is too expensive now. I am unaware of any energy company that has proposed a wind farm for the area south of Tuckernuck. Near shore technology is viable now and has been perfected in Europe for many years. While I applaud Congressman Delahunt's office for working on a federal energy zone for these waters with town officials, I would urge another look at the viability of Horseshoe Shoal for proven near shore wind technology.

As the price of oil hovers around $100 per barrel, clean energy projects like Cape Wind can begin to help mitigate the effects of fossil fuel burning for electricity production. Since the town voted here in April of 2006 on Question 8, the intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has asserted that humans are responsible for global warming. We need to take important steps now to address this dangerous trend. Clean energy, more fuel-efficient cars and trucks and energy conservation are all such steps.

Sincerely yours,

- Carl Borchert

GREENPEACE APPLAUDS DECISION

To the editor:

Upon initial review of the Draft Environmental Impact Statement for the Cape Wind energy project, Greenpeace is pleased that Minerals Management Service (MMS) shows the Cape Wind project will be a positive step in the fight against global warming with minimal environmental impacts.

This latest assessment follows extensive review of the Cape Wind project over the past six years during which time the scientific consensus around global warming has made the case for renewable energy projects like Cape Wind. Greenpeace has strongly supported the Cape Wind project, which would be America's first offshore wind facility and would provide clean, safe and renewable energy for nearly 75 percent of Cape and Islands. While the review is positive, it does point out that Cape Wind needs to minimize the impacts to avian species.

We, along with others alarmed by the climate crisis, look forward to participating in the public feedback process of this review and doing all we can to bring this important global warming solution to Massachusetts. This release of the DEIS should now pave the way for a speedy final review and permitting process for America's first offshore wind project."

- Kate Smolski Globalk Warming Campaigner,

Greenpeace USA

VETERANS NEED OUR SUPPORT

To the editor:

The Veterans of Foreign Wars are trying to complete the building of their new home on Bunker Road. The need is approximately $2 million. We need your support. Remember, if it were not for the Veterans you would be speaking Japanese, German or some other foreign language.

Please send your donation to VFW, PO Box 941, Nantucket Mass. 02554 or send it to John McLaughlin, 9 Green Meadow Drive, Nantucket, 02554 (Please make checks out to VFW building fund-Nantucket). Thank you. God bless our Veterans. "We were there for you. Please be there for us."

- John McLaughlin