YACK on: Happy Returns
Grant Sanders
It's that time of year again. And don't let a few unseasonably warm days this week, or Al Gore's reminders about global arming lull you into a false sense of hope for spring. It's the time when all sane people on Nantucket hunker down and do what high-paid marketing consultants call "nesting."

This is the time of year when wet feels wetter and cold feels colder and spending time outdoors on or around the island is

not nearly as attractive as sitting by the fire. And all of you people who built homes on Nantucket without fireplaces - with no box of warm, orange flames to feed bundles of logs from the Stop & Empty Your Wallet sidewalk bin - are kicking yourselves. "I wish we had spent the extra money on a real fireplace," friends often say. Maybe your neighbors will invite you over for hot cocoa. (Some houses here on Nantucket have six or eight fireplaces. You'd think that people would be happy to share.) Soon the temperature will drop below those under which scallopers may no longer ply their trade and fishermen will seek indoor work. Deer season is over. So are the holidays, so there's no reason to be walking from house to house with gifts for others. This is the time to stay at home and enjoy the gifts you have received. Especially if they are fleece lined down throws, warm sweaters, slippers or the Nintendo Wii.

The discipline of hunkering down, something I have obviously perfected over the years as evidenced by my sedentary physique, is easily learned and maintained. (Don't you just love a discipline that requires no sacrifice or hard work? I do.) Here are a few tips that I'm happy to pass on to you.

1. Make a big pot of something. Chili. Beef Stew. Chicken soup with escarole and linguica. Something hearty and satisfying that you can eat with crusty bread and slabs of cheese. Keep it on the back porch in the snow and when you're hungry, bring it in and brush the ice chunks off the side of the stew pot and fire it up. Nothing's better than being hungry and knowing there's a massive pot of good stuff waiting on the back porch half submerged in a small snow bank.

2. Make some real cocoa. Not some instant, just-add-water, reconstituted weak substitute for cocoa with mini marshmallows that look like they are refugees from a war-torn marshmallow principality. Make it with real, dark cocoa powder and hot milk and real sugar. And put a big dollop of Marshmallow Fluff on top. Yeah, so what if it means there's an extra saucepan to clean up. Live a little, will ya? You're nesting.

3. Get to know iTunes. If you don't already have an iPod, crawl out from the cave you've been living in and fire up the old Commodore 64 and order one. Or better yet, go to the local Radio Shack store. I think they have them there. Then go to iTunes and download a bunch of music you've never hear before. Or put all of your Rick Springfield and Gilbert & Sullivan CDs on your new iPod. You can spend hours on end downloading songs and copying cover art for your favorite bands into iTunes. Before you know it, it's springtime and you can create a special springtime play list to express your earnest feelings about vernal inevitability.

4. Get a huge TV. We recently upgraded our television situation and I can offer these words of advice with confidence. You'll never regret getting the largest TV you can afford or comfortably fit in your viewing area. Flat panels are the best. LCD? Plasma? It doesn't matter. If you like the picture in the showroom, you'll like the picture at home. Get the complete digital channel line-up. The international channels are hilarious. I could watch Japanese TV with no subtitles for hours. Keep in mind that you may only have four weeks left to watch the Patriots, so get that new TV soon. I'm anxious about NFL-withdrawal symptoms already. What will I do with myself on Sundays? Clean out the shed? Yeah, right.

5. Bundle up. See above mentioned fleece-lined down throw (Eddie Bauer, $39.00 online). Several layers are also a good idea. And warm socks. Then hit the couch with a big bowl of pistachios and the remote. Nothing is better.

6. Gain warmth from your dog. They say that you lose 80 percent of your body heat through your head. My dog, Seven, compensates for this by climbing onto my chair and attempting to drape himself over my head like a hat. As much as I enjoy wearing a 65- pound furry hat, I do prefer him draped over my feet, curled up on the ottoman next to my work space. He keeps me warm and reminds me to take breaks for playtime and ear scratching. If you don't have a dog, I pity you, for you are missing out on one of the most rewarding relationships you will ever have. Although I will admit that cats make better hats. Not to mention bait.

7. Check out the ramblings and blatant negativity at yackon.com. It helps an average of over four thousand visitors a day while away the winter hours indoors. Yes, a day.

8. Whatever you do, stay inside. The only people out of doors this winter will be me and my dog. I'll be trying out the new coat and hat and gloves that Santa brought me while I scour the island looking for people to alert who should be indoors hunkering down. I might also take in some of the incredible scenery on this, the most beautiful place on earth, during its most quiet and peaceful time.

Bundle up. And YACK on. I

Grant Sanders is the host of YACK, The Nantucket Online Community at yackon.com and he generates heat and light online daily. His views are his own and do not represent the editorial stance of The Nantucket Independent. Or his wife.