IT'S SO EASY
As many of you know, I was born and raised in Dallas, Texas. I was also fortunate enough to attend the University of Texas, or "The University," as we affectionately refer to it. I love the state and I'm proud to have originated there. However, as much as it pains me to say this, my home state of Texas is a little confusing. And I know that a lot of you out there probably already thought this, but it was kind of a harsh reality that came crashing in on me all of a sudden. And what's more, I came to this sudden realization while listening to a Buddy Holly CD.

And yes, there's a story here.

You see, I was sitting there minding my own business, listening to this CD, when it dawned on me that Buddy Holly was from Texas. He's from Lubbock, Texas, to be exact.

I realize this story isn't a nail-biter just yet, but give it time.

According to a few statistics-minded folks, Lubbock is the tenth-largest city in Texas, with a population hovering around 257,000 individuals. The city was named after a Confederate Colonel, Thomas Saltus Lubbock, who was the founder of the famed Texas Rangers. And no, not the famed Texas Rangers of mediocre baseball fame. The other ones. Lubbock is also home to Texas Tech University and the birthplace of, yes, Buddy Holly.

PHOTO BY JILL SANDOLE Martie Mack is one scalloper who hopes scallops are part of your Christmas present.

The thing about Lubbock, though, is that it's in the western region of the state and, given that we're a simple-minded bunch of folk down there, we just say it's in West Texas. That in and of itself doesn't make for scintillating reading unless you happen to be the unfortunate driver who, on a Sunday night in February driving from Dallas to Austin, had his car catch on fire and literally burn to the ground. And I know that it wasn't you because it was me.

See? I told you the story got better.

Yep, kids, it's true. My car caught on fire one night and burned up in its entirety. A relatively thorough investigation by some guy named Roy confirmed that I'd done nothing wrong; something in the electrical system was to blame. But my stuff - and I do mean all my stuff, as I'd just been home from school and was driving back down - was in the back of that car. The past tense there is an important thing to notice, as it all ceased to be pretty much immediately. And despite the fact that Buddy Holly had nothing to do with my car's catching on fire, the horrific event in question happened in West, Texas. And much as the past tense is important in regards to the existence of my clothes, that comma there between West and Texas is a vital one. Because you see, kids, the name of the town is West. West, Texas, is actually Central Texas, unless, of course, you're talking about it in relation to Austin, when it's North Texas, but if you're out in Buddy Holly-land, it's East Texas.

I'm sure you can imagine how confused the AAA lady was, too.

Anyway, long story short, Texas is a confusing place. And it's easy to get confused down there when you've got centrally-located cities named West that, ironically enough, happen to have a huge Czechoslovakian population (as in Eastern European), just to make things even more confusing. If you want to know the truth, I tend to think that Buddy Holly's song "It's So Easy" was originally about how easy it is to get confused while driving around his home state.

Am I the only one at this point thinking that this story has now come perfectly full-circle?

Actually, kids, you know something else that seems to be remarkably easy this year? Fishing for scallops.

That'll be the day, when you say goodbye. That'll be the day, when you make me cry. 'Cause that'll be the day I write a segue.

Friends and neighbors, it's been a banner season to this point for the commercial scallopers out there. From the opening days of recreational season to the dredgers out there pulling around the harbor today, scallopers are finding a lot of the little bivalves. That means that there are a lot of scallops available for purchase at local fish markets, and they make quite the excellent Christmas gift for friends and family who aren't fortunate enough to be on island for the holidays. And yes, local purveyors are willing, able and happy to ship them to recipients for you. Actually, when I really sit and think about it, they also make pretty good gifts for your favorite newspaper fishing columnist. Just remember that the lower sales price is a result of the lower wholesale price, which means the folks who are bringing you these

fruits of the sea aren't making as easy a living as you

might suspect. So buy a lot and buy often. Nantucket is blessed to have one of the only bay scallop fisheries in the world, and we've got to support it to keep it going.

And for the scallopers out there, be safe and look out for one another. Bill Blount's recent unintentional trip off the side of his boat could have had a much different, much more tragic ending had it not been for a lot of luck and the selfless behavior of some fellow scallopers out on the water. Thank you to you folks. You're all an inspiration to the rest of us, and you've showed us first-hand what really matters in life.

But now if you'll excuse me, I want to do a little research on Earth, Texas. It's disturbingly close to that UFO crash site in Roswell, New Mexico, and I've got my suspicions. But of course, we're talking Texas, so there's no telling.

Tight lines. I