STROLLING ALONG
I bought a bed a while back. That in and of itself wasn't that major a deal - it's a pretty mundane action when you really think about it - but it was, to say the least, not a cheap expenditure. Beds, it turns out, are quite the racket if you're selling them. Apparently bed salespeople aren't confined to things like reality when determining how much to charge someone for what most would consider a requisite piece of furniture.

But astronomical costs aside, it was time. The old bed was on death watch, and truth be told, I think it had actually expired some time earlier when nobody was looking. So I began mattress shopping. I happened to see an ad for a furniture place on the Cape that was having a sale. Of course, furniture places always seem to be having sales, but that's no matter. These guys were having a sale when I needed a mattress, and they had mattresses on sale. And what's more, they were offering free shipping.

Oh, I thought to myself, this is rich. I'm going to take these guys to the cleaners when they figure out I'm on Nantucket. We'll see who gets the last laugh when it comes to high prices.

PHOTO BY JILL SANDOLE Fishing for fishing presents? Ask Andrew.

So I called, arranged for three-quarters of my net worth to be extracted from my bank account, and then I sprang the news. "I'm on Nantucket," I said smugly. "And I know your ad says you guys are offering free shipping, so I'm just curious how you're planning on shipping my new bed." I waited for the attempt at pointing to a loophole by the salesperson, but there was no loophole to be found. I'd studied the ad, looking for any kind of clause that would relieve them of paying shipping. I found none. I had won this time.

And despite my self-assuredness, it still surprised me when I was informed that, in fact, there would be no charge for shipping. It might take an extra day, but the new bed would be delivered to my door free of charge.

A few days later, it arrived. And after some hemming and hawing, I finally got it in the bedroom and gave it the maiden-voyage sleep. It was great. Best night's sleep I'd had in years. And then, just as I was sure I'd found my Morpheus-sent Nirvana, I found the mattress developing a definite slump in the middle. Over the course of about six months, the slump grew - basically in inverse proportion to yours truly's midsection - and by the end of a year, I was sleeping in the equivalent of a ditch and trying to run off the beginnings of a middle-age gut.

I finally called the furniture place from whence I'd purchased said problematic mattress and complained. After much gnashing of teeth, they decided that the mattress was, in fact, still under warranty, and they would take it back. Provided I shipped it back.

What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Ayep. In order to get my money back on the mattress, I've got to pay the uber-expensive shipping to get it to them. What's more, I've got to pay the shipping to get a new mattress back across the way. Their suggestion was that I bring a truck over on the ferry. Because, you know, that's a pretty affordable prospect, too, right?

At this point, I'm just about at wit's end, though, so the bed is getting shipped back, associated costs be damned. I'm prepared to spare no expense in order to get a good night's sleep, a philosophy I've adopted in recent months after many a poor night's sleep. However, there's one major caveat to this whole thing, and that is this: The bed that replaces the one I currently have is going to be purchased locally, right here on Nantucket. I've learned my lesson the hard way that no matter how good an off-island deal might seem, it ends up costing more in the end. If I'd done the smart thing and bought my mattress from Marine Home Center in the first place, the whole exchange issue would be far easier, as they're right here.

And you know what? The same thing is true for your fishing equipment.

I'm dreaming of a Christmas segue.

Friends and neighbors, it's Christmas Stroll time again, and that means it's time to start doing the Christmas shopping. Got an angler on your list? Shop locally, kids. You might be able to save a couple of bucks if you go off-island or online, but you run the same risk as if you buy a bed from an off-island place. If something goes wrong, whom do you talk to? If you buy it on the Internet, God help you trying to find an actual human being to speak to. And how do you make sure that what you're getting is actually useful here on Nantucket? That guy in Omaha probably doesn't know quite so well as the guys who fish here all year.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Nantucket has got more than its fair share of great anglers, and a lot of them own and work in local tackle shops. Ask them what you should buy and trust their advice. These guys aren't working on commission, and they've got nothing to gain by selling you something you don't need. Just the opposite, in fact, as they're trying to get you to come back again.

So stroll to your little heart's content, but buy local. Trust me when I tell you that you'll sleep better

if you do. I

Tight lines.