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LETTERS To the editor: It has taken me a while to write this letter to say how grateful my daughter and I are to you all (you all must indulge me, for writing is not my forte). It will be almost nine months since my wife Jessica's untimely passing. Words cannot begin to describe the love and compassion that have been shown to Jessica, Janie and myself. When we first found out that we had cancer, everything became a whirlwind. Back and forth to Boston and all the obligatory tests, chemo and uncomfortable words like "primitive cancer type," "ovarian-like," etc. When we finally found out the prognosis and what little time we had, my first reaction was to drop to my knees and pray to God for a miracle. Jessica's first instinct was more of compassion: she was the comfort of everyone around her on the island and her family. She became preoccupied talking to everyone about how they were feeling and making them as comfortable as she could. She wanted to embrace that love you were giving her and she tried as best as she could to return it. That love was the miracle that I prayed for, but I was too overcome in my own grief to realize it. I was saving this as a conversation for my daughter as she got older, but I know now Jessica would want me to share this with you all, too. The last few days were spent with a lot of handholding, talking about our short but full 18 years together. During this time she was describing her dreams and how vivid they were, of our friends, when we first met, the birth of our daughter and such. The last few days she was drifting in and out of a coma and her body was starting to fail her. The last hour she was in and out and she was using short descriptive words of what she was experiencing and looking at. Words like "colorful," "wow," etc. I kept asking what else she was looking at. She finally said very clearly, "Love." She passed not much longer after that. I know now that what at least part of what she was looking at was you all and the love that was shown to us. One might call it our heaven on earth. Janie and I are doing well today. She just started kindergarten and we are taking each moment as they come. Janie, as well as you all, is my rock which gives me the ability to endure. My heart was broken open the moment Jessica passed and a large part of me died with her that day. But what is left is a large capacity to love and care for you all, which I will spend all of my life doing. I - Janie and Greg Mehringer |
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