PTertacks
MINDING PET P'S AND Q'S
with Jan Jaeger
"No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days." - Miles Gloriosus, act III, sc i

"Fish and guests stink in three days." - Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac

Did your mother admonish you to "Mind your P's and Q's?" I was never sure what those letters meant, I just knew I'd better straighten up and behave. Although this expression dates to the 1700s, even experts dispute its origins, agreeing only that it means being polite, using good manners or watching your step.

The three most popular theories are: youngsters confusing which way the two adjacent alphabet letters turn; early printers, who had to set type as a mirror image, having trouble distinguishing between these two letters; or "p" referring to pint and "q" to quart, meaning pub customers keep their own drink tally or "mind their p's and q's."

In any case, Daffodil Weekend, the first rallying cry of the season, has now come and gone, and I hope that your visitors, their pets and your pets were all "minding their p's and q's" so everyone enjoyed a pleasant stay. And there is, certainly, a protocol that should be observed if you are visiting a home with pets or bringing your pet to visit.

To start with, a good guest should be diplomatic about other people's children, pets and lifestyles. If your hosts allow their cats on the counters, let their dogs lick the dinner plates and the place is knee-deep in pet hair, so be it. If this disgusts you, but you still want to visit, keep your mouth shut or rethink where to stay.

Or, maybe animals terrify you. A friend recently commented about an infrequently visiting couple. She explained the husband is obviously very uncomfortable around their multiple pets and laughed, "Richard spends the entire weekend sitting with his legs clenched together to fend off the animals and washing his hands." If either of these guest types sounds like you, perhaps lodging at a nearby motel or B&B is a better plan.

The #1 guest rule is to never, ever show up with a pet unannounced, or assume that a weekend invitation for you automatically includes your pet. Call and confirm your pet is welcome, and will not burden your hosts, their own pets or other invited guests.

One of my family members hosts a couple who like to travel with their dog. She laments, "I know they want to bring Cleo, I understand that. But Cleo is a herding dog and on the previous visit, she tried to round up my cats. They were terrified and spent the entire visit confined to the upstairs. This just isn't acceptable, and although I don't like to, I've had to insist they make other arrangements for Cleo if they want to stay with us."

As host, you need to be that clear when issuing or confirming an invitation with family or friends. Explain, "We would love to have you visit this summer, but we can't accommodate Max too. I hope you have a friend or dog sitter there he can stay with." Feel free to elaborate with your reasons, or just say, "I hope you understand."

If your pet is invited, count your blessings and be a considerate guest. Bring along the essential pet supplies and special toys, bedding, treats, leashes, bowls, poop bags and grooming tools. Include some moist towlettes in your baggage for clean up when needed. If your pet likes to sleep on the bed with you, bring an extra sheet or blanket to put on the bed, minimizing pet hair and damage to the linens. Feed your pet in the bathroom or a non-carpeted area to keep water and crumbs in a space that is easy to clean up.

It goes without saying that your doggie companion should be housebroken and reliably responds to the behavioral trilogy, "Sit," "Stay," and "Come." Part of your responsibility as a guest is to make sure that nothing in your host's home is either destroyed, broken or covered with pet hair during your stay. Don't let your dog run wild through your host's gardens and try to keep your pet from peeing on bushes close to the house. Always, always, clean up waste.

If your pet is not dependable, you should make arrangements to bring along, purchase or rent a kennel for confinement when you go out or cannot be with him. To keep all options open, before your visit you might interview a few local pet sitters and have one in mind in case the going gets rough. Also, here on Nantucket, our MSPCA/Angell boarding facility offers a Slumber Camp, an in-and-out arrangement that allows pet owners to claim their pets whenever they want during the day, returning them for the night.

A final nice touch as a guest that "minds their p's and q's," is a thank you note from both you and your pet within 24 hours of your visit. In today's electronic world, an e-mail or e-card would probably suffice, but there's still nothing quite like receiving a card the old-fashioned way that reiterates how much you enjoyed your

stay. I

Jan Jaeger is owner of Geronimo's, Ltd., Nantucket's pet supply and gift shop, and is a member of DWAA and CWA (Dog and Cat Writer's Associations of America). Her pets at home are Junior, a Chesapeake Bay Retriever and three cats. At the shop are the cats, Messrs. Fish and Chips, Flower bunny, Willie guinea pig and two budgies. Send email to jan@geronimos.com