MY VI E W
SEND YOUR VIEWS AND LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: DON@NANTUCKETINDEPENDENT.COM by Meg Hunter Executive Director A Safe Place

CONFRONTING AN AWFUL TRUTH

Iwas surprised to be invited to write an Op-Ed piece on sexual assault for Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Month. Often, we are the ones asking to write, or speak about sexual assault and rape and then we are often turned down or ignored, although usually politely. Sometimes I think I am on the verge of understanding the complex reasons for the rejections and attempt to pass them on to my staff or use them to console my own feelings of rebuff and indignation. Then - Wow - I get an invitation!

Instead of filling up space with endless statistics I will use this opportunity to talk about these painful and appalling acts on Nantucket and my sense of how they have become so difficult to talk about and even more difficult to hear. You might think (as many have told me they once did) that rape and sexual assault doesn't happen very much on Nantucket. On one level this is understandable, on another it is frustrating, and on still another, it is actually part of how it perpetuates.

Domestic violence and sexual assault were the two mission issues around which A Safe Place was founded back in 1987. Since then to be sure, you have been hearing more about both issues, but I'd bet you've been hearing a lot more information related to domestic violence - more in the national press; more in the local press; more from us - more from survivors, too. Now here's a bit of irony - and just a few numbers. Sexual Assault occurs at least as often as Domestic Violence, if not more. (The statistics we reference all come from state and national government sources, i.e. the Dept. of Justice.)

The estimates are that one in three or four females will survive some form of DV or domestic violence, in her adult partnered or married life. The estimates are that one in three females and one in six males will survive some type of sexual assault during their lifetime. (The next time you are in a roomful of people on Nantucket or anywhere look around and do a quick count and do the math. If this makes you uncomfortable you won't like the following statistic - 75 to 90 percent of all survivors know their assailants or perpetrators.) Perpetrators, both of domestic violence and sexual assault, are overwhelmingly male. That said, we are hearing more and more about female perpetrators of DV.

This begs the question: If there are so many instances of sexual assault, including Nantucket, why don't we hear about it, why don't we do something to stop it? The answer to the first part is a little easier. The vast majority - somewhere between 90 to 98 percent - of rapes and sexual assaults go unreported to authorities. This includes authorities that quickly come to mind, as the police, or others such as D.S.S. in the case of child sexual assault. The numbers we have are based on evidence collected by agencies across the country such as A Safe Place and hospital emergency rooms.

Adult survivors of rape or sexual assault are not compelled to report what happened to them to law enforcement. It is different for minors whose parent has discovered their child was abused. When parents learn that their children have been raped or sexually abused they often initially do contact appropriate authorities and seek assistance for the survivor. Sometimes they do not. When it is a parent who is the abuser, well, that's a different story…

So, we don't hear from, or about, all survivors. But that doesn't necessarily answer the question about why we don't do more to stop rape and sexual assault. Or does it? After all, if few people make formal complaints about something, then how can anyone legitimately assert that it has become a community or societal problem? Maybe the statistics are off? Actually, fewer than 2 percent of all aggravated rape cases ever make it to a court room. Although there are many individual reasons survivors cite for deciding not to aid their prosecution, the themes of public blame and shame account for most. And I am just referring to adult cases. Even fewer child and adolescent cases proceed to criminal, or even civil, prosecution.

When so few of these crimes are revealed to the community and society, legislation responds the way it does to any "invisible" issue - it really does not respond much at all. In fact, a quick review of the past forty years of rape and sexual assault legislation in the Commonwealth and the nation could lead many to the conclusion that, prior to the late '60s, rape did not exist, it hardly ever happened "back then," and would force people to confront the inevitable and appalling victim-blaming fallacy that these women must have done something to bring this on themselves. Which ties right back into the shame-blame syndrome preventing survivors from coming forward: a nightmarish Catch-22 for all.

One of the many positive things you can do is to support someone who has been raped or sexually assaulted and wants and needs to recover. Another thing you can do is demonstrate and teach respect for everyone else's boundaries and their right to say no to any behavior. Finally, you can find ways to encourage our lawmakers to make it really safe for sexual assault survivors to give information toward the prosecution of assailants.

Rape is a crime of abuse of power and control. Ultimately, we say that rapists are the ones who can prevent rape. If you or someone you know needs help surviving and recovering in the aftermath, we hope you will call us at 228-0561, or our

24 hour Hotline: 228-2111. I