FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH
Being a fishing columnist is actually a much more difficult job than it seems at first glance. Yeah, sure, there are the perks - the occasional free cup of coffee here and there, the stray autograph hound blinded by your fame - but there really is a lot of work involved in this whole process. Case in point, a little-known fact about this column is that it involves traveling every now and again. And I'm not talking about "traveling" out to Smith's Point. For example, right now, I'm stuck on a warm and sunny beach in Palm Beach, Florida.

I really and truly hope you people all appreciate the sacrifices I make for you.

One reason for my being here is to celebrate my grandmother's birthday - one of "numerical magnitude," but I'm not getting specific. Let's just say that she's the great-grandmother of my six nephews and nieces, and yet she still manages to travel back and forth from Nantucket to Palm Beach as the weather dictates. My grandmother is what a lot of people call a "hot ticket."

Just yesterday, we were all looking at some photos from her younger days, at an album from when she went hot-air ballooning in France. Yep. Up in a balloon, floating around up there in the stratosphere, hovering at an altitude that yours truly would never attempt without a plane. Mind you, this episode from her "reckless youth" took place eight years ago. Like I said, she's a hot ticket.

Even though he was forced to travel to Palm Beach, our writer made the sacrifice to help celebrate his grandmother's birthday.

So clearly this woman has some secret to maintaining an active, healthy life. I was intrigued, to say the least, and I asked her about it. She said she had no real secret, but I figured she was bluffing. So I stalked her. Literally. Insofar as it's possible to stalk one's own grandmother, I stalked her. I watched every meal, every cup of tea, every step to see if there was anything she wasn't telling me. And, I have to say, it was all pretty mundane.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, morning newspapers, afternoon walks, occasional bridge games (she's also quite the card shark, I have to warn you). But there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. But I kept watching, patiently, figuring that something would eventually emerge, and suddenly it hit me: My grandmother eats fish as many times a week as possible.

Yeah, um, I'll have the Florida grouper, iced tea and a side order of segue, please.

Friends and neighbors, it's a fact. The jury has come back with the verdict, and in addition to ol' Scooter getting stung, they've decided that fish - specifically the Omega-3 oil found in fish - is incredibly good for your heart. It seems that the oils work with your heart in the prevention of coronary disease and strokes. I'm no cardiologist, but I'm on board with anything that might even think about helping to keep my heart beating. Again, I'm no expert, but I'm thinking that if my heart keeps beating, that's probably a good thing.

Now, for all of you lawyers out there, keep in mind that this statement has apparently not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, and that Omega-3 oils have not been shown to cure any diseases. Apparently you have to say things like that to keep from getting sued, and when you're a high-profile fishing column writer, you've always got to be on your toes.

Now, back to the story. These Omega-3 oils appear to promote a healthy heart and good blood circulation. But there's a catch, just like there always seems to be. They tell me that salmon - specifically wild salmon - is the best source of the Omega-3 oils that are supposed to be so good for us. No big deal, right? Just eat lots of salmon. Well, let me give you all a little bit of insider info on your old buddy Andrew.

He hates salmon.

I can't stand the stuff. No idea why, but I'm thinking it has something to do with my mother telling me that it was "good for me" at a young age. And we all know that telling a four-year-old that something is "good for them" is the kiss of death. Anyway, I can't stomach salmon. For those of you that love it - and many, many of you seem to - eat away. It's the best one out there. But for those of you like me - all six of you - there's hope. They tell me that all fish has this heart-healthy oil in it, so really any fish is good for your heart.

Now, before you go telling me about those supplements you can buy that give you all the Omega-3 oils of the average serving of salmon, keep in mind a simple fact of biology. You've gotta' eat, kids. It's kind of like breathing in terms of importance. So let's review. You have to eat something, fish is good for you in a bunch of ways and Nantucket has a slew of ways to acquire fish for dinner. It's a no-brainer. So get out there and eat more fish.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to adjust my beach umbrella. The sun is shining so brightly, and I'm prone to sunburn.

Tight lines. I