YACK on:
Cold
Grant Sanders
Our yackon.com resident meteorological expert, Captain Blair Perkins, has been predicting it for some time. Cold. And it's here. Chilly winds that swoop down from Canada and dump dense, cold

oppressive air upon us.

I've been spending a good amount of time off-island lately and many of the people I meet there complain about the cold. But the thing is, they don't know cold. They have no clue. People in Boston drive into underground parking garages out of the wind and they walk from their cars to enclosed and climate controlled spaces. They don't spend time out of doors that much. Oh, sure, sometimes they have to wait 10 minutes for a trolley or walk down the street for a sandwich or a cup of coffee or a slice of pizza. But they really don't understand what cold is.

Cold on Nantucket is colder than the same temperature anywhere else, for some reason. I think it has something to do with the wind, which is omnipresent here on most days. (Hey, somebody ought to think about putting up a big wind farm around here. This area is perfect for that kind of thing!)

The wind here seems to have the power to rip through a poorly protected body like 1,000 refrigerated razor blades. In addition, the cold on Nantucket can also be rather wet. At low temperatures, the salt spray can be picked up by the whipping wind and turned into pellets of damp, salty pain. It can hit you in the face like a blast from a shotgun. Only not nearly as gently.

When Christmas came around, I asked my wife for one thing. Warm clothes. I received a fleece hat (which I'm wearing as I write this, because the office in my kitchen is sometimes chilly unless my dog Seven is flopped across my lap like a giant, shiny black blanket), a fleece neck warmer, a pair of thick fleece gloves, and a fleece-lined, triple-layered winter jacket with a double-layer hood. This is the best gift anyone could possible give to me because I love to take my dog on long walks in the island wilderness and such walks are not at all enjoyable when there are refrigerated razor blades or ice-pellet shotgun blasts out there waiting for you, unless you are well prepared.

(By the way, I happen to think that "fleece" which is a thick, man-made, plastic cloth, is perhaps the best invention man has ever come up with besides cheese in an aerosol can or Pez®. It's made, I am told, from recycled milk bottles, and I wonder how they make such nice clothing from it and manage to get rid of that sour milk smell completely. Technology is, truly, amazing).

I took a walk on Land Bank and Audubon property with my furry friend the other day. The wind was steady at around 30 mph. The temperature was in the low teens. And with my neck warmer pulled up, my fleece hat pulled down, and no fewer than six layers around my torso, I had a great time. We passed a man on the trail who was not quite so well protected, his face red and contorted, with windburn and icy shotgun scatter, and he did not look like he was having as good a time as we were. Seven and I walked down along Hummock Pond. I could tell it was cold because Seven did not set one foot in the water. On most other days he would be neck deep, seriously considering a run at some Canadian geese bobbing about on a part of the pond that was not covered by ice. But that day, he thought better of it and stayed dry. We continued along the pine-kneedly trails, and the air seemed almost ready to crack, it was so cold. When we got back to the old Ford Exploder, I said a little prayer to whomever would listen, and it started up. Thank goodness.

Perhaps the most important bit of equipment for staying warm on Nantucket, however, are boots. I have no fewer than three kinds of boots that I wear for different types of wintertime activities. I have a pair of Thinsulate®-lined L.L. Bean duck boots with rubber bottoms and leather uppers and strong laces that I wear for cold-weather hikes on trails or trough sometimes-muddy places like Squam Swamp. I've also got a pair of calf-height thick rubber boots for wetter conditions like beaches at high tide, or crossing salt-marsh inlets at low tide. They're also good for trips to the trash bin or to shovel the walk (No shoveling yet this season, but I'm certain we will get a major snow storm during which I can satisfy the shoveling instinct). And I have a pair of sleek Timberland dress boots for client meetings or trips into town.

And let's not forget the importance of socks. The best socks, I have found, are available at Wal-Mart in six-pair packages. Made from thick unnatural fibers which wick away sweat. One pair is more than enough on cold days. Two pairs are recommended for the coldest of days. Like today.

"Keep your feet warm and the rest of you won't mind the cold so much," I've always said.

But, by far, the best thing about this cold weather is, it gives me an opportunity to over-eat and blame my added girth on "sweater fat" - the extra fullness that comes from wearing big, fluffy sweaters. I've easily put on an extra 30 pounds this winter and I'm hoping it will stay cold for a long, long time so I can continue to blame my Michelin Man physique on several "extra layers for warmth."

Technically, it's not a lie. It's just that some of the extra layers are not made of cotton or wool or polyester fleece, but of cake, chocolate and second helpings of fried chicken.

YACK on. I

Grant Sanders is the host of YACK, The Nantucket, Online Community at www.yackon.com and he tries to wear fleece every day in the winter. His views are his own and do not necessarily reflect the editorial stance of The Nantucket Independent (which is run by people with very warm hearts). Or his wife, who likes fleece a great deal as well.