The Lighthouse Keeper
BY DANIEL W. DRAKE
Like those discussing the Iraqi situation these days, holiday shoppers can be divided essentially into two camps. There are those whose style is to get all their shopping done early. Then there is everyone else.

The early birds bought or ordered what they wanted, when they wanted, for the price they wanted, with little hassle or to-do. They have sent off the parcels that go to the far corners of the country — or globe — and the presents that remain are all wrapped and stowed in a closet somewhere.

With just a few days left until Christmas, the rest of us are just beginning to stretch our wings. We are the ones who stay away from the stores on Black Friday and don’t go near our computers on Cyber Monday. We are the ones who, for weeks, have been browsing through the catalogs that stuff our mail boxes and surfing retail sites on the Web, looking aimlessly for “things.”

Both kinds are compulsive. The early shoppers have a need for everything to be all tidy and neat, and getting the shopping job done before the rest of the crowd falls squarely within that parameter. Our compulsion, on the other hand is in our inability to focus on the task at hand. Some gadget or fruit basket looks nice, but there is no connect between the item and the people we have to buy for. We can’t make ourselves do it ahead of time. Nothing gets done until the last minute.

Occasionally, someone will attempt to cross over and join the other side. However, experience shows that the traits — or compulsions — are not transferable. The early shopper who loses the edge for a time will contract psychic maladies which will soon push him or her back to the get-it-all-done by Labor Day crowd. A late shopper may get all organized in buying and wrapping for a year or two, but inevitably he or she will backslide into the pre-holiday chaos that feels more comfortable.

To those of us who fall into the last-minute category, the early shoppers can be a bit of a pain. They exude a certain self-satisfaction when asked about their acquisition of presents. With the task behind them, they stress how much time they have to do other things; to decorate the house, or bake or just enjoy themselves sitting in front of the sparkling tree, libation in hand, contemplating what’s right and wrong with the world.

By the same token, no doubt, the rest of us drive the early shoppers crazy. We certainly offend their sense of orderliness. And we annoy them by not being able to sit still to share a cup of the nog of the season.

For the late-present bloomer, the pressure starts to build a week or two before Christmas. Ideas come and go, and, finally, thoughts of who one needs to buy gifts for start to get cross-wired with the mental list of possible presents. (No, we never write anything down!) The resulting periodic flashes begin to hatch concrete ideas.

However, at this stage of the season, another equally challenging obstacle remains. With the passage of time, the options of how to execute the gift idea have probably narrowed. We become fully occupied figuring out the logistics.

Is the item available on island? If you saw it on an earlier pass through of a store, does the store still have it in stock? If it’s not available here on Nantucket, does one go online or plan a trip to the mainland to actually see oneself buying it and carrying the shopping bag back to the island.

While weeks ago, the early shopper would have put price high on his or her priority list, on our list it is next to last, ahead only of gift-wrapping. Now, price will be trumped by availability.

Another consideration is whether we can trust the delivery services, or is this something we must do in person? Under the pressure of time, some late shoppers make a special trip off island just for holiday shopping. The more hard-core of us, however, can’t bear the thought of just going over to the mainland to shop. We need a real reason to go, even if the excuse is as mundane as a medical appointment. If nothing arises of its own accord, we find something, anything, to use as an excuse for the journey.

Such was the case with a trip off island this past weekend. The reason for going was to attend a wonderful Lessons and Carols service, but in the back of our minds was “There are a few things we need to pick up while we are over there. We have been talking about that for a while.”

The problem with such an approach is that it doesn’t usually leave enough time for what one needs to do, given the passage of time and the rapid approach of Christmas.

The trip is bracketed by ferry or airplane schedules, or other engagements, and the time available for the task at hand has become truncated. So a new round of decisions has to be made. Your focus has to be broadened. You have to think of the big picture. What is high on the priority list? What will be quick to purchase and not a long, drawn out process?

You finally make a decision; you choose something you think the intended recipient will really enjoy. Now you have to buy it.

Another, mutual decision is finally made; it is worth making a stop at a mall where your mission should be able to be accomplished. Of course, it wasn’t as easy as you think it will be. Some of the components of the gift were sold out at the first store, so you had to go to a second, then a third. In the end, the mission was successful. And, in accomplishing what we set out to do, we are energized to figure out the next present.

We returned to the island feeling a trifle smug at our cleverness in our mission accomplished. That didn’t last long. At home, on the front porch, waits a brown package. It is of a suspicious size and weight. A call to the sender results in permission to open the box and the presents inside – now! No waiting! ^%@&^#%@#@!

Surprise! The early shopper got there first.

Ah, well, it is in the nature of the late shopper to take such a setback in stride. It’s just another challenge on the road to Christmas.

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The “Lighthouse Keeper” reflects the views of the author and does not represent the editorial position of The Nantucket Independent. Please send any comments to drake@nantucketindependent. com.