TIGHT LINES
with Andrew Spencer

BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP

Another Junior Miss pageant has come and gone, and by all accounts it was a tremendous success. When I was first introduced to the Nantucket Junior Miss program, I made an error in judgment. I know it might surprise some of you out there to learn that I have, in fact, done such a thing as screwing up, but it's true and I can't hide from the truth any longer. In fact, I've made a few mistakes over the years. But this particular one was a doozie. I referred to Junior Miss as a "beauty pageant."

Big mistake. Hu-u-u-u-ge.

For those out there who are in that crowd laboring under the delusion that Junior Miss is strictly a beauty pageant, let me enlighten you. Young ladies from the senior class participate willingly-knowing that they're going to be sacrificing a couple of months worth of free time, and that they'll still be expected to maintain their grades and athletic obligations, and still fill out those pesky college applications, all the while spending several hours a week working on the program. On the night of the show, they are scored by judges for a variety of attributes. A personal one-on-one interview counts 25 percent of the score, and individual talent performances also count 25 percent. Scholastics account for 20 percent of the score, and 15 percent comes from a participant's performance in a choreographed aerobic fitness routine. The final 15 percent of the score comes from what is labeled "selfexpression," which the America's Junior Miss website defines as "a contestant's demeanor, sense of style and speaking ability."

So you can see, when you refer to this event as a "beauty pageant," you're neglecting the fact that the program stresses academic performance and self-expression above all else. This is a program about building selfesteem, not about putting on makeup and evening gowns and gliding around the stage.

No, friends and neighbors, Junior Miss is about the whole package. It's about being an exceptional student, a talented performer, a poised speaker and an intelligent person. Long story short, it's basically everything yours truly is not, including that "miss" thing (which, I understand, is one rule they enforce pretty seriously). And when you consider that Junior Miss alumni roll-call includes some pretty powerful women (including Dianne Sawyer of "Good Morning America" fame and Linda Rutledge of IBM fame), you start to understand the sort of women who participate in this.

The motto of the national program is "Be your best self," which sounds simple enough, but it seems like too many of us have lots of trouble with it. We think that if we buy enough cool stuff to make us look better or more skilled or smarter or whatever, then we become better. Not true, and the Junior Miss participants know that well.

And when you think about it, Junior Miss is kind of like fishing.

Here she comes, Ms. Segue.

You see, friends and neighbors, you can have the best looking rod and the coolest reel and the fanciest waders and whatever else, but all of that doesn't matter at all if you don't know how to use it. Think of it like your car. Yeah, driving a Mercedes (or so I've been told) is a nice ride, it's an ego boost, it's a chick magnet. But it burns the same gas as that Geo Metro so many of you people delight in making fun of me for driving. And, when you get right down to it, the whole goal with a car is locomotion.

Don't get me wrong here. I'd take a Mercedes over my Geo any day of the week and twice on Sundays, but since none of you people are lining up with a set of keys or even a pay raise, I'm still driving the Geo.

Fishing equipment, in a sort of reverse-segue kind of way, is the same thing. That uber-expensive custom-made rod looks good, and when in the right hands, can cast a three-ounce plug halfway to Hyannis. But it's not the way the thing looks that determines how far it can cast. And yes, one of those nifty nickel-plated, matte finish, two-stepsfaster than-God-himself reels are all hunky-dory. But there are certainly less expensive versions that will do the job adequately.

The moral of this story is, at its core, to shop locally. You might think you're paying more for the same thing you could get off the Internet or from a catalog, but one thing Nantucket has got plenty of is trustworthy fishing tackle dealers. They're not out trying to make a fast buck off you. They'll settle for a slow twenty cents, with the hope that you'll come back five times. But trust what these people say and don't think you need to buy the most expensive pieces of equipment. Work your way up to it.

All you've got to do, when you get right down to it, is take the Junior Miss ladies' advice and just be your best self.

Tight lines.

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