The Lighthouse Keeper
"Nudity?" Hawkeye screeched at me from his perch in the tree near the backdoor. "Why ever would you want to write about nudity?"

"That's easy," I replied, a bit startled at Hawkeye's vehemence. "Nudity sells."

"What brought this on?" asked Hawkeye. "You write for a family newspaper."

"I was trying to come up with something different. The same old gets a bit boring, both to the readers and to me. And when we went to a play and saw a totally naked person on the stage, it got me to thinking.

"I am not sure I want to know what you were thinking about," Hawkeye snickered. You know, I am almost glad winter is coming so I won't have to see all those half naked people around. At least birds have the decency to have feathers. The thing is that unlike birds, people come in all shapes and sizes. Maybe some of them can get away with being bare naked, but, let me assure you, most of them need feathers."

"I agree with you," I said, "but nudity has its place in art. From the days of the Italian masters...."

"Everyone knows that," the bird interrupted. "You don't need to write about it. You haven't written about politics or government in quite a while. There must be something in that arena you can latch on to. That's what people are waiting for."

"It's been pretty quiet, actually. Not much going on. Not much of substance. No verbal sparring. No fisticuffs. I understand there is a bit of a tiff as the schools go through the shakedown phase with the new superintendent. That's to be expected. Certainly, nothing has come out of there yet that's worth writing about.

I continued. "Maybe, that's why the play, 'The Graduate', was so much fun. It was a diversion. And there was a nude scene. That has caused more of a buzz around town than anything that has gone on in government lately."

"The only buzz I heard," Hawkeye sighed dourly, "was the sound of the folks in the Quaker burial ground spinning. They were not happy."

"One of our local historians would have you believe that those Quakers were not as prudish as you might think," I said, "although I guess that there would have been a bit of an outcry if someone had done a nude scene back in those days. Nowadays, nudity - to one degree or another - is pretty common in plays and movies. Things have changed."

Hawkeye, who had been looking pretty disgusted, perked up when I mentioned change. "Now there is something you can talk about," he said. "Didn't you speak to the Town Government Study Committee last week about change?"

"I did," I replied. "The committee was kind to invite me. When I had finished, though, I am not sure they were glad they asked me. I talked about the need for a real change.

"I suggested that, in an ideal world, the whole political structure of Nantucket's governance would be revised substantially. The current fivemember board would be replaced by perhaps a three-member board, with the chair or first selectman elected directly by the voters. That would be a full-time job, compensated as such. The function of town meeting, which is not representative, would be replaced by an elected town council."

"Wow!" Hawkeye exclaimed. "That's pretty radical. Do you think Nantucket is ready for something like that?"

"Unfortunately, I fear Nantucket is much more ready for a nude scene in a play than it is for any sort of substantive change in the way things are done politically. But you have to start somewhere. It is a bit like that kid in the play, Benjamin Braddock. It wasn't until he was confronted with the nude Mrs. Robinson that his mindset began to change."

"Get off the play," Hawkeye hissed.

"I am talking about shock effect." I said. "I thought that something radical needed to be put on the table to get people thinking.

"But the format I suggested isn't that radical. It works elsewhere. The system we have now can barely function. Many of the issues the town faces are too complex to be dealt with by a system that is as archaic and unstable as the current one.

"As one example," I continued, "the current method of a electing a new chairman of the Board of Selectmen each year means that everything stops, and takes months to regain traction as the new chair gets acclimated. So the board is functioning at full speed for only a short time, before the process starts all over again. It's inefficient and wasteful.

"Another problem currently is that there are very inadequate or, in many cases, no formal role definitions, pretty much across the board from the boards and committees to the department head positions. The issue is particularly acute with the Board of Selectmen. Each time a new chair is elected, the relationship changes between the chair and the board on one hand, and town administration on the other, because the new chair essentially has a free hand in defining the roles and relationships. That makes the Town Administrator's job extremely difficult and frustrating, requiring adaptations which take unnecessary time and effort.

"Town meeting is another problem. The process takes forever to accomplish things which, if nothing else, adds significantly to the cost of the town's projects. Also, the outcome on many votes also depends almost entirely on who is present at any given time. It is neither representative nor efficient. The system needs to be changed."

Hawkeye fixed me with his right eye. "Government is only as good as the people in it," he said.

"True," I replied, "but at the very least the framework that is in place should be the one that gives them the greatest opportunity to succeed."

"Hey," Hawkeye said as he readied to fly. "You are looking for shock effect? Suggest that the members of the Board of Selectmen meet in the

nude." I

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The "Lighthouse Keeper" reflects the views of the author and does not necessarily represent the editorial position of The Nantucket Independent. Please send any comments to drake@nantucketindependent. com.