The Lighthouse Keeper
By Daniel W. Drake
Associate Publisher

The dog took me to the beach for a walk on Saturday, to the spot where Simone la Pomme de Mer often hangs out. I didn’t expect to see her, because it was overcast and a stiff breeze was blowing out of the southwest; not the best of conditions for a scallop to sit at the edge of the water on the lee shore. But Simone has always been one to defy logic and there she was in about an inch of water, seemingly emulating Tom Sawyer in practicing her spitting.

She greeted me with an extra large jet of water and asked where I had been.

“Oh, I have been around most of the time, but you know it’s that time of year. The season is upon us. All the things we were going to get to in the winter have caught up with us and now they need to be done. And there’s yard work that seems endless. And it is busy at the paper. There are family things going on, as well. And I must admit that I have snuck away a few times to play nine holes of golf.

“Knowing your golf game, I hope you aren’t playing for money,” Simone snorted.

“Well, I’m down about $4 on the season so far, but, don’t worry, I’ll make it back. In any event, it’s the price of admission to the game.”

“What ever”, she said. “I have more important things to think about than such foolishness.”

“You seem a bit testy this afternoon, Simone,” I replied.

“Well, you know we are coming up to the time of year when we scallops spawn, usually towards the end of June. But the water temperature has to be in the mid-sixties and at the rate we are going that isn’t going to happen until August. The water is still so cold. So you would be a bit testy too if you were all dressed up with no place to go, so to speak.”

“And then the other day, to add insult to injury, your dog stepped on me when he did that ridiculous wading thing of his in the water. He just stood there. It killed my back. Why don’t you just get an air conditioner at home, so he doesn’t need to come in the water and walk all over us?”

“Sorry, Simone, but he really enjoys it. He stands in the water up to his belly for a few minutes to cool off. It’s harmless – unless you are a scallop underfoot, I guess.”

Trying to get her mind off her troubles, I went on, “It’s been a while since we have talked, and a lot of things have happened. What’s your take on the state of the island?

“I have to tell you,” she said, “it’s almost boring these days. Things actually seem to moving along reasonably well. With Town Meeting over, things have settled into a routine. The overrides all passed last week, so it is time to move forward with some big construction projects, the sewer plant and the new airport terminal, and to plan for the new public safety building in Fairgrounds Road. That’s a big chunk to chew on that will keep people quiet for a while.

“I just hope that the estimates of those costs are correct, because no one wants to go back to the trough for more money. But the fact that the only bid for the full completion of the Old South Road bike path came in at $1.8 million, when there is only $800,000 available, is kind of discouraging. So you will get a half a bike path, it seems, until more money is voted.”

After a moment, Simone continued “Then the DPW’s priorities for the remaining Comprehensive Waste Water Management Plan implementation were reviewed at the selectmen’s meeting last week and received very little comment. Given all the to-do about the sewer plant upgrade, you would have thought there would have been a bit of a stink over the rest of it.”

“Well,” I replied, “the Town Health Officer was physically restraining himself from jumping in with comments during the presentation, particularly during the discussion of the need for a sewer plant for Madaket and Warren’s Landing.”

“You had better hope that the Madaket Harbor situation can be resolved by new technology in septic systems,” she said. “If they have to build a new sewer system and treatment plant for Madaket, I will bet my first born, if I can find him/her, that it will cost a lot more than the $38 million currently being mentioned. You had best play golf while you can.”

Simone went on, “You are going to have to work harder to get some grist for your columns from town government these days. Everything is so orderly and neat in the way the Board of Selectmen is being run, it isn’t half so much fun to watch. And, now that Town Administration apparently isn’t burdened with micromanagement from the Board, it actually seems that things are getting done. It’s all very nice, I think, but not very exciting.”

“I’m sure I will find something,” I said. “I could always get into the seeming morass of the Planning Board and NP&EDC.”

“I would save that to use as a last resort, only for a time when you really are desperate,” Simone said, sagely

“Good thinking, if not the best advice to a writer,” I replied. “But, frankly, I don’t see a lot that is very humorous about that situation and I would rather deal with situations that provide a least the opportunity for a chuckle.”

“You certainly have had a couple of those lately,” Simone smiled. “Nantucket was saved by a technicality from losing a selectman to higher office. Phew.

“And then there is your Sheriff. His antics are unbelievable. If someone wrote a story about him, it would be classified as fiction.”

At this juncture the dog finished cooling off in the water and went to examine a fish head on the beach. Not wanting him to dissect it, I needed to start for home. I said to Simone, “I have to go. Thanks for this. Will I see you again?”

She thought for a moment and then said, “Indeed you shall. I’m not going anywhere for a while. Besides, I still haven’t found a good successor who can keep you honest.”

“Well, I have,” I said, “but there’s no hurry. All in due time.”

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The “Lighthouse Keeper” reflects the views of the author and does not necessarily represent the editorial position of The Nantucket Independent. Please send any comments to drake@nantucketindependent.com.